We're All Not the Same, But We're Still Family: An Adoption and Birth Family expédition

This story was written for adoptive families to explore the benefits of adoption openness. The main character, Deshaun, loves his family but always wondered about his biological family. Does he look like them? Did they love him? With the support of his adoptive parents, Deshaun gets to meet his biological family. They develop an ongoing relationship, so Deshaun feels more stable in his adoptive family, but also develops a comfortable relationship with his birth family. Deshaun and his family are reminded (as we all are) that family can include biological, adopted, foster and kin members.



After reading this book, a child and their family will be able to:



Discuss feelings about adoption



Imagine what openness might mean for them



Acknowledge similarities and differences among family members



Discuss if an expanded sense of family is possible for their circumstances











"There are many childrens adoption books that address the important themes of identity, attachment, grief and loss; however, very few approach the topic of openness for older children in the in-depth manner that Theresa and Eric do in their book. The emotions that Deshaun describes are typical of many adopted children and could help normalize universal feelings for young adoptees. I would highly recommend this book for all adopted children and will certainly be using it in my practice."



--Tecla Jenniskens, M.S.W., R.S.W., adoption social worker







"Many foster and adoptive parents fear the consequences of introducing their children to birth parents. This story offers a redemptive look at how parents can remain history keepers for their children by helping them answer important questions about themselves and their origins. This book is a beautiful example of how fearless curiosity and compassion can lead to increased coherence in a childs story and an expanded sense of family for everyone."



--Paris Goodyear-Brown, LCSW, RPT-S, clinical director of Nurture House, executive director of the TraumaPlay Institute and author of A Safe Circle for Little U and Trauma and Play Therapy







"Were All Not the Same, but Were Still Family is a lovely book that tackles issues adopted children really think about when they question their identity and place within a family. The authors describe the process of a boys search for his biological family, with the full support of his adoptive parents, and the events that brought him into the child welfare system. The illustrators rendition of the Skyped meetings between the two families is captivating, while the text gives careful attention to the unification process. I applaud the authors on their inclusion of realistic steps in this complicated process, as we witness a childs journey to find and complete his family."



--Laurie Zelinger, PhD, ABPP, RPT-S, board certified psychologist and author of Please Explain "Anxiety" to Me!







Learn more at From Loving Healing Press Eric Fraser - is 17 years old and is adopted. He found some of his birth family when he was in middle school too. He likes lacrosse, skateboarding and of course outside skating in the winter time. He is a public speaker and talks about what kids need and value from helping relationships.Theresa Fraser- is Erics mom. She and her husband fell in love with Eric - the second they saw him. He is an amazing teenager who carries around the love he received from his birth family and ancestors as well as his chosen family.Theresa believes strongly (in her work as a therapist) that families can be defined in many different ways and often this includes foster/adoptive and birth family members. How blessed all family members are when contact can be shared and it is positive for the child